- She can also be stealthily smart and a bit of a Little Miss Snarker. For instance, during "Arthur's Knee," she watches Arthur and Brain try to build a replica of an ancient Roman chariot. When Arthur gets hurt during a test drive, she comments, "Did the Romans need lots of bandages when they travelled?"
- CRAZY BUS. CRAZY BUS. RIDING ON THE CRAZY BUS. RIDING UP. RIDING DOWN. AND DRIVEN BY A FUNNY CLOWN.
- WACKY, GOONY, GOOFY, SPOONY, HIGH AS A PLANE OR A BALLOONY, CRAZY BUS. COME WITH US AS WE RIDE RIDE RIDE RIDE RIDE!
- And there's the lyric about "A flat tire is no problem because it's only flat on the bottom".
- This show's treatment of The Odyssey uses it for the Sirens' song.
- It becomes even more hilarious when set to clips of real-life buses crashing.
- When Arthur shouts "THERE'S NO SUCH WORD AS BUS-A-LOOEY!"
Arthur: You did plenty of great stuff, D.W.
D.W.: Yeah? Like what?
Arthur: Like you fooled the tooth fairy and got money, and besides that, you taught us all about fire drills, and you got to go to the hospital and get stitches.
D.W.:These are the golden memories of my childhood? A buck, a fire drill and a fat lip?
- Buster's photo next year has him saying to the cameraman "Remember me? I'm the one who burped." When the photo is snapped, Buster has a hilariously proud smile on his face.
- In the same episode, Arthur smiles for the camera, only to be blinded by the camera flash due to his glasses.
- We also see Prunella's hair frizzle due to static electricity, and Binky sneezing himself off the stool due to having worn a flower on his suit.
Buster: Arthur, we have to choose: face horrifying scary danger...or do our homework.
Arthur and Francine: HORRIFYING SCARY DANGER!
Binky: Hey, did you hear about the new girl?
Mr. Ratburn: *annoyed* Who is this?
Binky: Oops, wrong number. *hangs up*
Uncle Sean: My latest project is an original mystery. It's about a man haunted by his past, on the run from a dreaded enemy. He's hunted everywhere he goes. It seems like there's no escape!
Great-Grandma: Oh! You mean like The Fugitive? Or Les Misérables? Or just like The 39 Step-
Grandma Thora: Mother!
Uncle Sean: (stammering) Well, uh, yes, but completely different!
- And later, the same uncle is playing charades, and his turn lasts half an hour, and all anyone can guess is that it has to do with bridges. He finally gives up and says:
David:The Bridge over the River Kwai!
Loretta:The Bridges of Madison County?
Jane:A Bridge Too Far!
D.W.:[after Sean falls over] "London Bridge Is Falling Down"?
Uncle Sean: Honestly! On The Bridges of Medieval Paris. A record of early 14th-century life by Virginia Wylie Eggbert!
Aunt Bonnie:note Sean's wife We said, "Pick a popular book."
Uncle Sean: Well, all my friends have read it!
David: GAH! How did my new shoes get in the dishwasher!?
D.W.: Kate did it! I SAW HER.
David: (beat) D.W., go to your room and think about what you just told me.
- Another scene in one of the "baby" episodes is when D.W. has put diapers on all the toys to practice diapering. Arthur shouts "GET THAT DIAPER OFF MY BIONIC BUNNY TOY RIGHT NOW!!"
Arthur: If I'm old enough to take out the trash, aren't I old enough to choose my own vacation?
Jane: You didn't really think that was gonna work, did you?
Arthur: It was worth a try, wasn't it?
Jane: That's an idea, though...
(Arthur gasps and looks up hopefully)
Jane: You could take out the trash!
- The part after Grandma Thora tells Arthur's birth story and D.W.'s already extremely jealous of the attention Arthur's getting for his chicken pox.
D.W.: What about when I was born?
Grandma Thora: I think I was in Florida then.
D.W.: The dog's got my wiener! The dog's got my wiener!
D.W.: What did you draw?
Arthur: (holds up drawing of a dog) A dog, and he's bored. What did you draw?
D.W.: (holds up drawing of a straight line) A stick.
Arthur: (incredulous) A stick?!
D.W.: (sudden outburst) A stick from the park where you PROMISED TO TAKE ME TODAY!!!
- It's obstructed by other sounds, but Arthur replies with "I didn't promise you anything!
- Also, this:
Grandma Thora: I was just starting on (cleaning the attic) when your dad begged me to - um, when I decided to invite you over!
- Before they walk into Grandma Thora's house, it's still raining outside like it has been the whole day. She makes the comment that it's only good enough weather for ducks...only to cut to a family of anthropomorphic ducks riding bikes in the weather, remarking it as a lovely day.
"Welcome to All-in-One Mart! The store big enough to swallow your town!"
"All-in-One Mart values all our customers. But if you break something, you buy it. Tough luck!"
"Today's special in our sportswear department: pre-worn sneakers for lazy people."
"If you've lost your child, come to our lost child department, located behind the toy department. And on the way, why not buy a new toy for that poor, frightened child that you lost?!"
"Attention all shoppers: free samples all day at our water fountain."
"Big sale in our book department: books without vowels now half price!"
"Who needs expensive air conditioning when army surplus jet turbines are on sale in our wind department?"
"Who doesn't like the satisfying flavor of fresh, warm carbonated milk? The late night drink that lulls you to sleep and burps you, too!"
"Don't forget today's sale on chocolate-covered cabbage. It's the dessert that makes you go 'Blecch!'"
"Right now in our free sample department, everything is half price."
- Early in the episode, Arthur shoves an entire slice of cake in his mouth in one bite. When his mom discovers this, he comes up with the greatest excuse in history.
Jane: Why didn't you just have an apple?
Arthur: I was too weak from hunger to chew. I needed something soft.
- Also after that, every single time Arthur appears in D.W.'s imagination spots, he is stuffing his face with cake.
- Near the beginning of the episode, Mr. Haney delivers the news to Arthur's class that Mr. Ratburn has laryngitis and will be out for the rest of the week. As soon as he leaves the room, the entire class begins cheering; Mr Haney opens the door again and glares at them, and they immediately fall silent and try (unsuccessfully) to look innocent and absorbed in work.
- At the end of the episode, when Mr. Ratburn returns early, the students, having been driven almost insane by the mind-numbingly easy work given to them by Mr. Ratburn's sister, begin cheering, complete with flag-waving and hat-tossing (said hats including a top hat, a straw hat, and a graduation cap).
Brain: "Fear". F-E-R-E. "Fear".
Mr. Haney: I'm sorry. That's incorrect. (Crowd groans)
Brain: Are you sure? What dictionary are you using??? (Leaves stage)'
Listen, my children
As I tell you
About a duck and a chicken
on a bus to Oklahomoo
- There's also Binky's Poem:
Binky: People think I can't write a poem.
But they are so wrong! I can write a poem!
I wrote this one, I wrote this poem...
And I gave it the title BINKY'S POEM! So shut up!
Muffy: That's not a poem! He rhymed "poem" with "poem" four times!
- The "cows are female" incident.
- The "The Giant Slime Who Came to School" comic, especially when Buster eats said giant slime mistaking it for lime.
D.W.: "It's hard to be an accountant when you can't count past ten".
D.W.: (picking up undesirables from her salad) Cucumbers, yucky. Mushrooms, yucky. Onions, yucky AND smelly. Hey....this isn't lettuce! What kind of a saladISthis?!?!
Arthur: (looking at the audience) .....uh-oh, she's gonnapop!
D.W.: This is SPINACH!
Waiter: IIIIIIiiis something the matter?
D.W.: This is spinach.....and I!HATE!!!SPINACH!!!!!!(she repeatedly bangs her fists on the table and then her fork pushes down on her plate and sends the bowl on it in the air, landing on the waiter's head)
Waiter: THAT'S IT, I QUIT!
Jane: Dora! Winifred! Read!
- And this conversation from the beginning of the episode.
D.W.: Mom, I hope you got me a red lollipop, cause I only like the red ones!
Arthur: Orange and purple are good, too.
D.W.: But red tastes better!
Jane: Help me put away the groceries. Then you can have a red lollipop. (hands D.W. a whole fish)
D.W.: Errrgh! GROSS! It's looking at me! You're not gonna feed us a dead fish, are you?!
Jane: You've eaten fish before, haven't you?
D.W.: Well, it's never looked at me before (turns away from fish) Ugh!
Arthur: (in a mocking, singsong voice) D.W.'s scared of a fishy!
D.W.: I am not scared! It smells funny and I hate food that smells funny! (Jane hands her olives) Are these green eyeballs?
Arthur: No, they're olives. And they're not looking at you.
D.W.: (looking in the shopping bag) Cucumbers, yucky, tomatoes, yucky, mmm, peanut butter and jelly! Yummy!
Arthur: My sister D.W. is what you might call a picky eater.
Arthur: You've got to hurry up, IQ! The missile will hit in ten seconds!
Camera pans to librarian at desk
Librarian: I don't know what's wrong, Ms. Turner. The computer won't let me check out these books!
Ms. Turner: I guess we'll just have to do it by hand.
Back to the kids
The Brain: According to my calculations, the last digit should be a 1 or a 2. But which is it? 1 or a 2?
He presses a button, and then all the lights go out.
Arthur: ...I guess it was a 2.
- And later in the episode, it shows Brain trying to fix the lights, with Buster being very unhelpful.
The Brain(from inside a closet): There! Did that make the lights go on?
Buster: I don't know, it's too dark to tell! Get it? (bursts out laughing) Too DARK to tell? (notices Brain giving him a Death Glare) No, still off, keep trying!
- Later when the disc goes missing, and D.W. suspects Arthur of stealing it. As Jane and David are at their high school reunion, leaving Catherine (Francine's older sister) in charge, D.W. starts spying on Arthur. D.W.'s way of stalking Arthur is genuinely funny (such as: using her toy telescope to spy on him from the hallway). Eventually, Arthur loses patience.
Arthur: D.W.'s haunting me.
D.W.: (popping up from behind Catherine's chair) MAYBE IT'S YOUR GUILTY CONSCIENCE THAT'S BOTHERING YOU!!!
- Then as Catherine tries to tranquilize the argument by taping down in the den and forcing the kids to opposite sides of the room. Unfortunately, as soon as Catherine leaves the room, her method doesn't do any good as the two then start doing a tug-a-war over Arthur's jacket.
Arthur: Gimme my jacket!
D.W.: It was on my side! Why else would you want it so badly unless my Crazy Bus is in it?!
Arthur: For the last time, I DON'T HAVE YOUR STUPID BUS!!!
D.W.: It's not "Stupid Bus", it's Crazy Bus!Stupid Bus is a lame puppet show!
- When Jane and David discover that they had the disc all along! When Jane phones DW that they accidentally took the disc, the other guests can be seen dancing to the Crazy Bus song!
Secret Service Agent: That's it? Initials? Didn't you give the kid a whole name?
- Also, Arthur's Imagine Spot of D.W. convincing then-President Clinton to pass "The D.W. Law", which makes it illegal for citizens to NOT own a pony.
- Oh, and the national anthem has been changed to "Crazy Bus."
- Also from the Washington episode, Arthur's prediction that D.W. "probably broke the Constitution or something!"
- And this from D.W. while she's lost in the White House:
"This government is way too complicated. No wonder Daddy's always complaining about it!"
Arthur: MY BRAAAIN IS MEEELTING!!
D.W.: Then I can give Arthur his Tetris booster!
- "Arthur is a dodo brain!"
- Arthur complaining about D.W. keeping him up all night.
Arthur: What if she never lets me go to sleep again?
Brain:Actually, that would be a very fascinating study. We could chart your deterioration, and then, when your brain starts to shut down...
- There's also Buster imagining Muffy being "more famous than a doughnut".
Art: (singing cheerfully) "He's a sad, sad bunny! A sad, sad bunny! TV isn't funny when you're a sad, sad, bunny!" Yee-haw!
Buster: Hey! That's not very sad music!
Art: (singing slowly and sadly) "He's a sad, sad, bunny... a sad, sad, sad, sad, bunny..."
- And the ending, when it turns out that not even Buster knows why he's here:
Arthur: Moooommmm! There's a singing moose in front of the house!
Every day when you're walking down the street... you stop and think. [Cue Brain thinking, cut to Brain's title card]
Buster: Hey! (It looks like we're looking at the end of the opening, this time with Buster sitting in the circle, until he eventually falls out of the TV)
D.W.: I knew there were little people in the TV! Moooooom!
- The story of D.W. thinking a green potato chip would kill her makes it into the paper, thanks to Bitzi's Slice of Life column. Jane starts telling the story all over town and while D.W. looks on, horrified, she stuffs clippings of said story into envelopes while explaining over the phone that of course she's sending it to all the relatives. As we watch, Jane's bright red lips disengage from her face and begin to say the relatives' names very fast while suspended in midair. Her teeth show too, making it look like the lips are engaged in a wicked smile, until D.W. cries, "MOOOOM!"
- D.W. trying to prove her maturity.
D.W.:(wheeling a loud wagon into the library)
- Later, after picking the biggest book in the library:
Arthur: That doesn't prove you're mature. You can't read.
D.W.: I'll have Mom and Dad read it to me as a bedtime story. I'm interested in the subject. What is it again?
D.W.:I love that stuff...What is it again?
- In the episode's intro, David greets the audience and tries to call for Arthur.
David: Oh hello, are you looking for Arthur? Arthur! He must be doing his homework. (scene cuts to Arthur in the kitchen stuffing his face full of cookies)
- David proceeds to tell the audience about his "misunderstood experiments" all of which result in Arthur and D.W. going "bleah"!
Arthur: We have to avoid going to an orphanage at all costs, especially one set in the 1800's.
- Preceded by one of the show's stupidest puns when Arthur, with a really forced british accent, tries to do the typical "Please sir, may I have some more?" line, but pronounces it " 'ore". Cue Ratburn literally giving him an oar and going into hysterics at his own sadistic joke.
- From the same episode, D.W. gives us what is quite possibly the greatest comeback ever.
D.W.: You...You wear glasses!
- To which Arthur retorts with,
Arthur: Mom and Dad are not fighting because I wear glasses.
- For an episode about something as scary as parents fighting, the episode is full of hilarious imagine spots, such as DW having to walk back and forth at a miles long table to tell her parents "Merry Christmas" from each other because they're not talking anymore, to DW apparently thinking that cleaning the house by themselves because their parents aren't there will be just like Disney's Snow White.
- In the same episode, Arthur's narration.
Arthur: "I love the library. There's so many books to read and great things to find out. But the best thing about the library is (whispers) it's quiet."
Arthur (fed up): "Except on days when I have to bring D.W.!"
D.W.: "What does this word say?"
Arthur: "'the'. Another great thing about the library is I can check out all these books."
Arthur: "What is it now?"
D.W.: "What does this word say?"
Arthur: "'red'. To take books outta the library, you need a library card. But it's easy to get one of those. All you have to do is..."
Arthur: (angry) "What?!"
D.W.: "How about this word?"
Arthur: "Dog! The Red Dog, OK! Got it?! And stop being so noisy! See the sign? It says 'no talking'!."
D.W.: "If I can't read 'The Red Dog', how do expect me to read that sign?!"
- "I told you.......NOT....TO.....TOUCH IT!!".
- Despite what it leads up to, Binky's attempts at avoiding Arthur were genuinely funny.
Binky: (pacing around outside the bathroom)
Brain: (walks out)
Binky: Is Arthur in there?
Sue Ellen (who has spotted Binky in the bush): "Binky? What are you doing?"
Binky: "Avoiding Arthur. If I don't see him, I don't have to hit him."
Sue Ellen: "Oh. Why would you wanna hit Arthur?"
Binky: "I don't. That's why I don't wanna see him."
Sue Ellen: "Hmm. (walking away) Boys."
Binky: (pretending to suffocate) Can't breathe! Tell the nurse! I think I have plasma!
Buster: Don't you mean asthma, Binky?
Binky: Stupid words, too many consonants all smushed together.
- Also from "Buster's Breathless":
Binky: (watching Buster use his inhaler) See? He's not sick at all! He's just playing the kazoo!
And then later on...
Binky: So does that mean you don't have to use that kazoo anymore?
- The best part is, Binky says this even after finding out Buster is using an inhaler and not playing the kazoo.
"HEY, YOU SQUISHED BUSTER!"
D.W.: Mommy! Daddy! The town is exploding and it's very pretty!
- From the same episode we also have these little gems involving Mr. Morris the school janitor, Mr. Ratburn and Mr. Haneynote The Principal:
Mr. Morris: By the power vested in me by Local 12 Maintenance Workers and Gym Teachers Union, I'm declaring janitorial law!
Mr. Haney: Why eat beans when we have all this food?
Mr.Morris: I wouldn't eat that junk if I was you. Besides, it's all froze.
Mr. Haney: (frustratingly tries to open a frozen pack of hot dogs with no success) I. Hate. SCHOOL!
Mr. Ratburn: (aghast) Mr. Haney! (looks up towards the ceiling) He didn't mean it!
Mr. Haney: (whining) I wanna go home... (scornfully) Beans!
- Francine's subplot involves her unable to finish her report so Mr. Ratburn gives her an extended deadline but not has to write more pages. Francine isn't happy about having to write a longer report while everyone is playing in the snow. Buster points out that if she finished her first report, this wouldn't have happened. Francine responds by throwing a snowball at Buster's face.
- It's snowing like crazy, the power is out pretty much all over town, everyone is desperately going to the Read residence for heat/power. Except Grandma Thora who gives us this gem.
David: Mom! Are you ready to go?
Grandma Thora: I'll be ready as soon as I finish the driveway hon! (Whistles happily as she shovels the icy driveway)
- Arthur's dream at the beginning where his entire family is replaced with Mr. Ratburn (including D.W. and Pal).
- This episode provides several classic D.W. moments:
- When Mr. Ratburn arrives at the Read house while his roof is being replaced, D.W. scampers around him saying, "Hey! Hey! Look at me! Look at me!" It's D.W.'s personality almost entirely distilled into a single moment.
- After Mr. Ratburn has settled in, he joins Arthur and D.W. on the living room sofa:
D.W.: So the school roof fell in?
Mr. Ratburn:(lifting Kate onto his knee) No, the roof to my home.
D.W.: But you're a teacher! (hops off the sofa) The school is your home!
Mr. Ratburn: Teachers don't live at school, D.W. We have houses, just like you!
D.W.:(solemnly) The world seemed so simple before this moment... (leaves)
- And then there's this:
Arthur:(to Muffy and Francine) Wanna go to the Sugar Bowl for some hot cocoa?
Francine: Sorry, we can't. We're going to the Sugar Bowl.
- Mr. Ratburn's love forcake returns with the line, "You made CAKE? For ME?" And when they go to bed, he asks, "Will there be more cake tomorrow?"
- Arthur's desperate attempts to stop his parents from letting Mr. Ratburn stay at their house:
Arthur: It's wrong! It goes against nature!
David: The poor man has nowhere else to go.
Arthur: Are there ''no'' hotels!?
D.W.: Do I have any choice in this?
Jane: None whatsoever.
D.W.: (feigned enthusiasm) Oh boy, a concert.
- D.W. tells Yo-Yo Ma (to his face) that she thought that the concert would stink, and was pleasantly surprised.
- She also misconstrues "Yo-Yo Ma" as "yo mama". It was practically gift wrapped.
- That leads to what might be the funniest thing she ever says:
D.W.: (to Arthur) Well it's too late!note (to bring Joshua Redman)YoMama says he's coming!
- Also, this exchange:
Mr. Frensky: Did I hear you say you need a musician?
Francine: Sorry Dad. They don't want someone to play their nose.
Mr. Frensky: I didn't mean me. I meant your uncle Josh.
Mr. Ratburn's younger sister substitutes for him one day, and suddenly he doesn't look so bad anymore.
The episode begins with Arthur and Buster carrying a huge stack of books and papers home from school. Arthur begins to complain about how difficult Mr. Ratburn is as a teacher because of the enormous amount of homework he assigns. He goes on to tell how Mr. Ratburn once managed to turn a routine trip to the zoo into class time, much to the dismay of his students. As they continue walking, Buster trips on a crack in the sidewalk and falls into a mud puddle, losing his work. He tells Arthur that he wishes Mr. Ratburn would just disappear sometimes.
During a routine day in class as Mr. Ratburn teaches his students, he begins to show signs of losing his voice. While the kids are at recess, he tries to tell Mr. Haney he won't be able to continue teaching the class, but loses his voice before he can say so. Mr. Haney sends Mr. Ratburn home on sick leave and announces to the class that they will have a substitute teacher until Mr. Ratburn returns, much to the excitement of the students.
Arthur and his friends wonder who the substitute will be, and recall a few past stand-ins they didn't like. First was Mr. Elkin, whose big antlers accidentally knocked several of the kids out of their seats. Another was Mrs. Bofini, whose loud chewing of an apple made it impossible for the kids to concentrate on their work. Then there was Ms. Tremello, who mumbled everything so the students couldn't understand her. She was considered the worst of the three.
Their favorite substitute was Ms. Blank, who apparently never showed up to teach the class. Miss Sweetwater filled in for her, and let the kids color and have snacks all day. Hopeful that Ms. Blank will come back, the kids are horrified when Mr. Haney names their substitute: Miss Rodentia Ratburn, Mr. Ratburn's sister.
After school the kids wonder what Miss Ratburn is like, figuring that since she is Mr. Ratburn's sister she is probably as tough or even tougher than him. Arthur and his friends imagine Miss Ratburn as a baby in a crib doing calculus while her brother bothers her to spell the word "antediluvian". Then they imagine the two of them as eight-year-olds, eating nails for breakfast (based on Prunella's myths about Mr. Ratburn's dietary habits).
The eight-year-old Miss Ratburn says she likes her nails without milk, and screws are her favorite. Arthur and his friends then imagine Miss Ratburn and her brother in college; he teases her that he notified one of her professors of a mistake she made on a final paper, and her grade will be lowered accordingly.
Miss Ratburn gets back at her brother with the news that she proved the star he discovered was nothing but gas, and his name will be taken off the Honor Roll. In response, young Mr. Ratburn vows that someday he will show her, by becoming the toughest teacher in the universe. Miss Ratburn disagrees, vowing that she will be even tougher.
The next day, Miss Ratburn arrives, but is surprisingly sweet and cheerful. Rather than having the students do complicated math as Mr. Ratburn does, she practices the multiplication tables with the class, only doing the 1x table. Surprised by how easy her class is, the kids gladly play along.
Miss Ratburn also puts on a puppet show, teaches the names of the four seasons, quizzes the students on basic color concepts, and has them recite simple words and phrases to match with pictures.
The class enjoys the unusually easy workday at first, but are soon bored by the simplicity of the assignments. Brain speaks up about it, so Miss Ratburn tries to make things more difficult...by doing the 2x table. The kids are relieved when class finally ends, and Brain runs out in a panic. At the tree house, the kids realize they actually miss Mr. Ratburn.
The next morning, the class waits in dread for another day with Miss Ratburn, knowing they will be bored again. However, Mr. Haney announces that Miss Ratburn will not be back today, because Mr. Ratburn has returned. The class enthusiastically welcomes him, and he immediately gets back to work.
Seeing Mr. Ratburn's return, a couple of the kids watching in Miss Sweetwater's room say to each other that they feel bad for Arthur's class. Back in Mr. Ratburn's room, however, Arthur says he feels sorry for the students of Miss Sweetwater, who doesn't present much more of a challenge than Miss Ratburn. Buster makes a remark about how tough their work is, but the boys are happy to be challenged again.
- In the flashback scenes with the previous substitute teachers for Mr. Ratburn's class, Arthur and his friends are wearing different clothes than usual.
- Miss Ratburn's laptop appears more modern than it should be in the flashback of her childhood. However, the flashback was what Arthur thought their childhood was like so perhaps was not aware of earlier technology as he wasn't born then.
- When Miss Ratburn starts playing the guitar, she is playing with her left hand; but in the next few seconds, she switches to playing it with her right hand.
- Out of all of Miss Ratburn's teaching methods that the class confirmed to be too easy, she appears to recite the 1X's tables, yet most kids don't learn about multiplication and division until third grade which Arthur and his classmates are in. It would have only made sense if she only recited the 1+? tables and/or the ?–1 tables for the class to prove it too easy.
- In the later episode, "Desk Wars", Mr. Ratburn received a call from his sister that he has become an uncle, yet in this episode her body is normal without any mention of a pregnancy. Although Mr. Ratburn might have another sister.
- In this episode, The Brain tells Miss Ratburn that puppetry is childish, yet her older brother enjoys puppetry as stated in other episodes.